Clowns

Greer - Tell us about your funniest memory in the theatre?

So perhaps I'm stretching the definition of 'theatre' here, but I know I'm not alone when I say my thespian life began at home, with elaborately staged pantomimes, dance routines and other such extravaganzas. I had a partner in crime, my bestie Wolly, and on our regular weekend sleepovers, the writing and production of some sort of performance for our enduringly patient and supportive mothers was routine. And while we may have approached each show with all the seriousness a pair of red-headed 10-year-olds could muster, in retrospect, these are my funniest theatrical memories.

Usually a dance routine was involved. And I probably don't have to say that costumes and make-up were de rigueur. Rollerskates were ubiquitous - we raced in them, played in them, cooked in them...of course we would co-opt them into our performances, Cecil and Cecily, the rollerskating clowns, being the most memorable.

Another favourite was the Christmas pantomime, with me in Santa attire, complete with cotton wool beard. And then there was the pool spectacular. Wol was lucky enough to have a pool bang-smack in the middle of a nice flat lawn. Imagine the combined dryland/water spectaculars we choreographed there! Synchronised swimming, diving AND poolside dancing.


And while the memories are quite hazy now, I do vaguely recall a performance we put together for the primary school talent quest - me on piano, Wolly singing and...was there dancing? God help us! You'll have to jog my memory, Wol, but I'm certain we approached it with the utmost seriousness.


There have been many theatre experiences since, most amateur, many at university, some even semi-professional (didn't we make about 10 bucks each?) But these were the formative years, when the spirit of performing was moulded and nurtured. Dare I say there is evidence already growing in my four-year-old when she tells me to be quiet, she's singing and I have to listen and not join in. I only hope I can be as patient and encouraging as my mum and Mrs Wolly were.


Though photos of the above abound, I've failed to unearth them. I did, however, find this shot of my first actual stage role - The Balloon Girl in 'Gypsy, performed by the Orange Theatre Company in 1984. I was nine. I was in the opening scene, and stood on the far right of stage in a tutu with balloons pinned to me. On cue, I stepped to the right then ran off the stage, whereupon a crew member popped all of the balloons. I then sat around for two hours waiting for curtain call. Grand beginnings...